Sunday, January 24, 2010

Hello.....Goodbye

I am pleased to announce that I am going to be a Grandma again! Heather and Bryce are going to be welcoming their second blessing in September! I am so excited for them.
And it is with great sorrow that I said goodbye to my Mommy on Jan. 22, 2010. She was awake and alert until the day before she died. My sister, Peggy, was in St. Louis visiting and called to tell me she wasn't doing well. She was having some trouble swallowing and was on an oxygen level of 10. I decided on Thursday to go to St. Louis. She was sleeping peacefully at 6:00 pm when I arrived. She never woke up again. I just tried to talk to her and let her know I was there. I hope she heard me. The nurses said she probably wouldn't make it through the night, but she did. She took her last breath at 6:00 am. Peggy and I were there holding her hand. It was very peaceful- no struggle or pain. The nurses were incredibly kind all night and that morning. They told her goodbye and that they loved her and would miss her. Two very special nurses even dropped their purses in the hall when they heard someone was needed to clean her up and get her ready for the funeral home to pick her up. They were off-duty but asked to be allowed to do this last thing for her and us. That was love- not duty!
I am so blessed to be in a close-knit family. My brothers and sisters are so wonderful and supportive. We will hopefully have all her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren together in Sarasota on February 22, 2010 to tell her goodbye as we deposit her ashes in the Gulf of Mexico that she loved so much!
I will miss my Mom so much, but I hope to see her again one day. So I say, " Hello new blessing and Goodbye precious Mommy. I love you both!!"

Friday, January 1, 2010

A New Year- A New Decade


Today is the beginning of a new year. I don't feel like I was quite finished with the old one. August, September, October, November and December passed in a blur.
August was a busy, but wonderful month. Bryce, Heather, and Bryce Eric were here for Lyndsae and Russell's wedding and then we went to Florida for Karabeth's 2nd birthday. It is always such a blessing to be all together, but this was even more special because we had tickets for everyone to go to Disney World! It was an amazing day, culminating with a spectacular fireworks show! It is so much fun to be with my children and grandchildren with no other responsibilities and just spend time enjoying them. We had a new family picture taken which became our Christmas card. Thanks to Mark Jellema for always making time to be our family photographer and to my amazing daughter, Tiph, for taking time to design a Christmas card that I am so proud to give to friends and family! It was so much fun to take the babies to the beach and relax in the surf. Sarasota will always be home!
September was a stressful month. We started back to school and my Mom went into the hospital. Her cancer had been stabilized and she had stopped chemo the month before and suddenly she just stopped eating and drinking and shut down. She went from there to rehab, where we realized she needed to be in a more assisted living place.
In October,Christina came home, there were 2 weddings, a 50th anniversary and a funeral that we assisted with and attended. Arrangements were made for Mom to move and Peggy, Christina and I spent an emotional weekend in MO cleaning out Mom's old place and moving stuff to the new apartment. It was so nice, but not meant to be. Exactly one week later, after only 3 days in her new place, she said she was too tired and couldn't do it anymore, and we returned to move her into 24 hour skilled nursing care with hospice.
We spent the first week of November in St. Louis with Mom, not sure whether to stay or go. It is so hard to be so far away from her, but I finally had to resign myself to the fact that I probably will not be with her when she dies. I just try to enjoy every opportunity I have to be with her until then. Bryce, Heather, and Bryce Eric came for Tyler's ALERT graduation and then stayed until after Thanksgiving! Tiffany and Karabeth flew up the week before Thanksgiving and we went to the Aquarium Restaurant for lunch and enjoyed the Nashville Opry Mills Mall for the day. Bill flew in for Thanksgiving and we had 34 people here, including the Reckners, the Clarkes and the Rhodes families. The next day the girls, babies and I went shopping in Evansville. We put up the Christmas tree that night and Saturday morning we celebrated Christmas!
I got up early and prayed everyone would stay asleep a little longer. It was perfect. I took down all the Thanksgiving stuff and put the Christmas tablecloth and dishes, candles and music on. When they woke up, the presents were wrapped under the tree, breakfast casserole was in the oven, bacon was sizzling, Santa's White Christmas coffee was brewing, cinnamon rolls (from the Yoders across the street) were ready, along with wheat-free pumpkin muffins. We ate a leisurely breakfast and then opened presents. Everything just seemed magical! Some years Christmas feels like just another day, but this year is a year I will not soon forget!!
Almost everyone left the next day, but Tiffany and Karabeth were able to stay a few more days. We made another trip to St. Louis so Tiffany could see Grandma and say goodbye. That was so hard! Mom has never been a "baby" person, but she and Kara really bonded and enjoyed each other.
The first week of December we drove to FL to take Tiffany and Karabeth home, celebrate my birthday and so the girls could babysit for the Ditchfields during their busy Christmas concert week. I was blessed to be able to take Grandfather to the concert and spend some time with him. The end of the month was spent cleaning for people and trying to figure out why Ashlee has not been feeling well. The Dr. took many vials of blood and tested her for numerous things, only to conclude that everything was "normal". That was not acceptable, so after much research and searching, we suspect she may have a case of candida albicans, or yeast build-up. More research resulted in a very strict diet of mostly meat and certain vegetables- no sugar, carbs, fruit or fermented foods such as pickles or vinegar, and no caffeine. It is hard, but only for a month and she is so ready to feel better and be able to concentrate on school, with this being her Senior year.
We spent Christmas at the Nursing Home with Grandma. We wore our pajamas there that morning and opened our presents with her. We went back to Judy's house and made a full Turkey dinner with all the trimmings and took it back for dinner. It was a special time. We have seen many family members more often than usual because of her illness and that has been a bright spot in a dark time. In the foreseeable future, when she dies, we will all gather again in Sarasota to be together and put her ashes to rest in the Gulf of Mexico, where she loved to spend time.
It will be another year of changes, learning, growing and remembering who we are and why we're here. May God strengthen each of us as we face the future. May we be unafraid of what's to come. We don't know what tomorrow holds, but we do know who holds tomorrow.

love and blessings, Marmee <3>